My Blog

A Tale of a Boring Day : Men as Clothes

Today is extremely quiet.  I am literally alone with about five  dogs and curiously quite happy about it.   They’re beginning to stink, a little, but at least, they’re well-fed and full.  Besides, I don’t know where the dog shampoo is (That’s a poor excuse, I know).

It is the third day of my self-imposed lock-up and I am not tempted to go out.  Even for a movie or a nice, cold Starbucks Frap.    Sometimes, it’s nice to just be alone with your thoughts…Of hopes and dreams and secret fears and unspoken truths. Of forgotten pasts and infinite possibilities.

This kind of situation leads me to thinking about one of women’s controversial and most discussed topics: Men.

Men, for me, are like clothes.  I am not particularly trendy nor do I have the most conventional of body types, and so unlike most women, I do not particularly enjoy shopping for clothes.  I am a salesgirl’s nightmare. I would literally spend hours and hours searching for just the right clothes, going through different styles, sizes, and colors, wreaking havoc and endless piles of fitted, but unpurchased garments along the way.  Tired and frustrated, I often end up buying nothing.   

When I do find something that fits right, it is unable to sustain my  busy lifestyle or personality and eventually surrenders to normal wear and tear. Sometimes, when I am not really looking, something nice sneaks up on me, in the strangest of places, no less, and I buy it on impulse, only to find out, after I get home, or after a couple of uses, it doesn’t feel quite right, it has either shrunk or expanded and it doesn’t fit me anymore (or maybe it never really did in the first place), or really, it was meant for someone else.

I think, though, I may have gotten it wrong.

That maybe it’s not about the clothes, but being comfortable with yourself, first and foremost. I guess you have to figure yourself out first and find out what you really want, because if you’re not happy or comfortable with yourself, the clothes that you wear,  no matter how nice and glamorous, will  never feel right.

Of Princes, Beanstalks, and Taking the Road Less-traveled By

I am a little…uhm… different…from most women.  Even as a little girl, I loved Jack and the Beanstalk better than Snow White or Sleeping Beauty – NOT that this has some kind of subliminal message about my sexual-orientation or anything like that…No, this isn’t that, at all…

(But wait,I am getting too far ahead here…let me backtrack a bit and put things in context)

Remember when you were very young and you had something like a ‘pet’ (or favorite) fairy tale?  Well, to tell you the truth, mine was Jack and the Beanstalk.

I can’t remember dreaming that a prince would someday wake me up and kiss me,

but I distinctly remember dreams of me selling a cow for magic beans and climbing up that tall, magical beanstalk.

I guess this is my very long way of saying that even as children, a lot of the little things we liked actually reflect on what we will become as adults.

Snow White and Cinderella are so popular because they reflect the more universal need to find someone to love and be loved.

Jack and the Beanstalk, I think, reflects an innate sense of curiosity about things, an ‘itch’ for adventure and novelty, a fierce sense of ambition to get to the ‘top.’

*

Not that a Cinderella or Snow White can’t ever have Jack-like characteristics or vice versa.

But sometimes, when you are so busy being Jack, you get a little confused.

You have your hands full with

climbing the beanstalk,

and trying to escape the giant,

and putting together the giant’s treasures,

that you forget about your prince ( a mistake I made once and that I sometimes regret, but only ever so slightly)

A lot of people would marvel at my ‘odd’ choice

but while  it is nice and comfy to have that castle-and-prince-charming-combo…

(and it is something I am not averse to in the future)

For right now, it’s certainly exciting being Jack!

Making Lemonades

 

If life throws you lemons, you're supposed to make lemonades, right?

..but what if you hate lemonade?
Personally, I would much rather make meringue pie

But then, that's just me

I like to do things a little differently

turn things around

make things a little more complicated

27 and Living It

I initially wanted to call this 27 and loving it...but I decided to go for 27 and living it, because that is exactly what I am doing

27 is a confusing age...There are times when I feel so old, like I have lived out my whole life...and there are times when I feel like I have not lived  enough, or that I have not lived at all....

Interestingly, you start looking back and feeling dramatic.  You  suppress feelings of sadness by drowning yourself in your work and hiding in the shadows of a successful career.  You work and work until your head hurts and are too tired to think or feel. 

It's payday and you realize, you can actually afford a lot of things that could keep you temporarily happy... a body massage, several shots of baileys, a new two-piece, or if you get desperate, maybe even a day or two in a hotel or resort...

And then, pop comes out an image of a younger you from 8 years back, having nothing else but 40 pesos in a worn-out pair of shorts, squatting like an Indian near the UP oblation area, having the time of her life....

For one brief, tiny moment, you wish there was a backdoor to time so that for just even a millisecond, you could go back to that exact time and day from 8 years back......